The Secret to a Happy Marriage this Valentine’s Day

The MomCo Staff

Marriage is a journey filled with adventure, joy, heartache and growth. On Valentine’s Day, it’s important to remember why you said “I do” in the first place.  

According to relationship experts, sharing this special day with your spouse can actually strengthen your bond. Little gestures like breakfast in bed, writing a love letter, or enjoying a candlelit dinner allow couples to slow down and focus on each other amidst the busyness of everyday life.  

Valentine’s Day offers the perfect opportunity to lean into love and turn toward your partner. By reconnecting and celebrating your relationship, you’re making an investment that will continue paying dividends long after the flowers wilt and chocolates are gone. 

Staying Connected  

Making time for each other is so important, even after years of marriage and raising a family together. With busy schedules and other responsibilities, it can be far too easy to let the romantic connection fade into the background. But staying connected with your spouse needs to remain a priority.  

Schedule regular date nights, just the two of you, to reconnect. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy – the key is spending quality time together, away from distractions. Go to dinner, see a movie, take a walk – whatever you enjoy. The point is to devote your full attention to each other, talk, have fun and keep the spark alive. Consider trying new activities together to change things up.  

You may also want to establish a weekly ritual, like Sunday morning breakfast, as dedicated couple time. Find moments in your everyday routine, like evening walks after dinner or cuddling before bed. Disconnect from devices and truly be present with each other as often as possible. Make communicating a priority, sharing your feelings, hopes, stresses – don’t lose your emotional intimacy. 

Nurturing your marriage needs to remain at the top of your to-do list, no matter how busy life gets. Make time for your spouse and your relationship. A strong marriage takes consistent effort, but pays off exponentially in happiness and fulfillment. 

Acts of Service  

Doing things to help your spouse is one of the best ways to show love on Valentine’s Day. Making dinner, doing the dishes, cleaning the house, running errands, or any other chore that gives your husband or wife a break is a meaningful act of love. When you serve your spouse by lightening their load, you demonstrate sacrifice and care.   

Acts of service don’t have to be grand gestures either. Small acts like making your spouse’s morning coffee, walking the dog, packing their lunch, handling a dreaded task on their to-do list, or picking up their dry cleaning are simple but powerful ways to say “I love you” through action.  

Serving your partner even when you don’t feel like it can keep you focused on their needs instead of your own. Going out of your way to do something helpful shows that you value your relationship more than personal convenience or leisure. It’s putting love into action. 

Gift Giving  

Finding the perfect gift for your spouse can be tricky. Jewelry, perfume or clothing can quickly get routine. The best gifts are often unique and thoughtful expressions of romance. Homemade presents show effort and care. Bake their favorite treats, create a scrapbook of your relationship, or make a playlist of “our songs.” Write a heartfelt love letter reminiscing about your times together. Plan a scavenger hunt with notes leading to gift surprises. Find an experience gift to enjoy as a couple, like a couple’s massage or tickets to see their favorite band. Turn your home into a romantic oasis with rose petals, candles, soft lighting and their favorite meal. The gift of focused presence and undivided attention is often the most precious gift of all. 


Whether you’ve been married a year or 20 years, it can be easy to let romance fall to the wayside when the daily demands of life take over. But keeping the spark alive is so important! Romance isn’t just about making your partner feel special, it also cultivates intimacy and connection in your relationship.  

Here are some tips for bringing more romance into your marriage: 

  • Plan regular date nights. Make it a point to spend quality one-on-one time together, away from kids and distractions. Do an activity you both enjoy, like going to dinner, seeing a show, taking a weekend trip, etc.  
  • Flirt! Be playful, leave sweet notes, send flirty texts, compliment your partner’s appearance, and make an effort to really see them. A little bit of lighthearted flirting goes a long way. 
  • Have thoughtful gestures. Bring home flowers or their favorite treat for no reason, give an impromptu massage, cook their favorite meal, put on music and dance together. Small acts of thoughtfulness mean so much. 
  • Create intimacy. Carve out time for physical connection through kissing, cuddling and sex. Intimacy is the glue that holds a marriage together.  
  • Focus on quality time. Don’t just co-exist, really engage with each other. Put down devices, maintain eye contact, ask questions, and listen attentively. Presence matters. 
  • Surprise each other. Break out of stale routines by surprising your partner with something new and different, like trying a new restaurant or planning an adventurous date. 

The passion in marriage often simmers down over time, but making consistent efforts to romance each other is the secret sauce to keeping that spark glowing. Don’t let the busyness of life crowd out what’s most important. With a bit of creativity and intention, you can bring back that honeymoon stage giddiness! 


Marriage is not always easy, and it’s important we take time to appreciate our partners, especially with Valentine’s Day coming up. Life gets busy with kids, work, chores and other obligations, and it can be easy to take your spouse for granted. Make an effort to express gratitude for the little things they do each day. Thank them for making dinner, driving the kids around, taking out the trash, or handling the bills. Recognize the daily sacrifices they make for your family. Send a sweet text just to say you love them. Leave a note on their pillow thanking them for being an amazing partner. Do something unexpected like bringing home flowers or picking up their favorite treat from the bakery. Pay them a heartfelt compliment on how hard they work or how much you admire a certain quality about them. Show you notice their efforts and that you don’t take them for granted. Appreciation nourishes love and connection in marriage. As Valentine’s Day approaches, make sure your partner feels genuinely valued. 


Intimacy is one of the most important ingredients in a successful marriage. Both physical and emotional intimacy help nourish the marital bond.  

Physical intimacy through sex, kissing, hugging and other forms of touch are powerful ways to connect with your spouse. Make intimacy a regular priority, even during busy seasons of life. Flirty text messages, romantic date nights, and weekend getaways are great for rekindling passion. Explore new ways to be intimate that feel enjoyable for both you and your partner.  

Emotional intimacy is also vital. Share your inner world with your spouse – your hopes, dreams, fears and challenges. Listen without judgement and seek to truly understand your partner’s perspective. Vulnerability breeds closeness. Open up about the things that worry you and allow your spouse to comfort and support you. Emotional intimacy helps create a safe space where you and your partner can express your authentic selves.   

Nurturing physical and emotional intimacy strengthens the lifelong partnership of marriage. Make intimacy a priority by setting aside regular one-on-one time to connect with your spouse on a deeper level. 


Open and honest communication is so important for maintaining a strong marriage, especially when parenting young kids. It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of everyday life and stop making time for meaningful conversations with your spouse. Staying connected through daily communication keeps your relationship thriving.  

Set aside a few minutes each day to check in with your partner – this doesn’t have to be a long, serious talk. Ask how their day was, share something funny your child did, discuss plans for the weekend. Going for a walk together is a great way to connect. Actively listen to understand your spouse’s perspective. Make eye contact, put down your phone, and give them your full attention. Validate their feelings even when you have a differing opinion. 

When tackling big topics, speak calmly and avoid criticism or contempt. Use “I feel…” statements rather than blaming your partner. Take breaks if needed to cool off before continuing a heated discussion. Seek to compromise. Remember you’re on the same team working toward resolution. Focus on specific issues rather than dredging up past grievances. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. 

Foster an environment where you both feel safe sharing openly. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and reveal your true thoughts and emotions. You might be surprised at how much closer it brings you together. Make communication in your relationship a priority – it takes consistent effort, but it is worth investing in. 

Overcoming Challenges  

All marriages have their ups and downs. It’s completely normal to go through periods where you feel distant from your spouse or face new difficulties in your relationship. The important thing is not to panic and have faith that you can work through any issues together.   

Some common challenges married couples face include differences in personality, managing finances, balancing work and family life, coping with stressful life events, and keeping intimacy alive. It’s key to remember that you and your partner are a team. Avoid seeing each other as the enemy when problems arise. Be willing to compromise, offer empathy, and validate each other’s feelings.   

If you’re struggling to reconnect, set aside regular date nights, take a weekend trip together, or try marriage counseling. Don’t let petty arguments spiral out of control. Fight fair by using “I feel…” statements, take breaks to cool off, and apologize sincerely afterwards. Learn your spouse’s love languages and speak them often. Small daily acts of kindness and appreciation can go a long way. 

Most importantly, remember why you fell in love and got married in the first place. Recommit to nurturing that spark. With patience, teamwork and open communication, you can overcome anything life throws your way. If the challenges feel too large to handle alone, don’t be afraid to seek outside support and guidance. Invest in your marriage every day and you’ll build a solid foundation of mutual love and respect that will carry you through the tough times. 

Valentine’s Day Takeaways 

Valentine’s Day is a perfect opportunity for moms to strengthen their marriage. There are many practical ways to nurture your relationship with your spouse on Valentine’s Day. Here are a few key takeaways: 

  • Staying intentionally connected through shared experiences, even simple ones like making coffee together, can promote closeness between you and your husband. Set aside dedicated time to do an activity without distractions.    
  • Doing small acts of service like making your spouse’s favorite meal or helping with a chore they dislike shows you care. Look for opportunities to lighten their load.  
  • Exchanging thoughtful gifts reflects love and appreciation. Gifts don’t need to be expensive; homemade or sentimental gifts can be even more meaningful. 
  • Reigniting romance keeps the spark alive. Plan a fun date night doing something you both enjoy. Revisit what brought you together initially. 
  • Expressing genuine gratitude builds emotional intimacy. Let your spouse know specific things you cherish about them. Praise their attributes and efforts.   
  • Prioritizing physical intimacy maintains connection. Make time for affection, massages and sex, even amidst busy schedules. 
  • Communicating openly and listening attentively prevents misunderstandings. Check in about one another’s needs and concerns. 
  • Overcoming challenges together deepens commitment. Get support if needed, extend grace, focus on shared goals, and work as a team. 

This Valentine’s Day, choose to invest in small, but meaningful ways to nurture your most treasured relationship. When you water the seeds of love between you and your husband, your marriage will continue blossoming through the years ahead. Wishing you a holiday filled with love! 

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